I’ve had a sickening feeling ever since news came out about the attempted assassination of Donald Trump. It wasn’t just that it occurred; it was the pro-assassination comments afterward that rattled me just as much as the shooting. We can agree or disagree politically, but there was never a time when I wanted a political figure dead because I disagreed. I want them out of power, but not dead. Definitely not assassinated.

I’m ashamed to say I know people who only regret that the shooter missed. I think a lot less of them now, even if they don’t know it. I’m not going to say anything, but trust me, the damage is done and it won’t be reversed. I wonder how we got to a point where there are so many people with a lack of character, no moral compass, and only situational ethics. That’s what’s bothering me and made it hard for me to sleep last night.

In a way, it’s a bit like being in a relationship with someone and then discovering something really bad about who they are that you just can’t ignore. True character reveals itself in difficult times and when under pressure, and that’s when we should all pay attention to who is in our lives. I’ll now slowly nudge these people out of my life. I feel shame for them.

I don’t know where we go as a nation from here. The Secret Service looked bumbling to me. Everything about their movements and the soldiers trotting in a line looked like amateur hour and not the elite team I was expecting. It made me realize how vulnerable Trump has been. How did they not have someone on the roofs nearby, and why was there a delay in taking out the shooter? Worse, the shooter looked like a complete stereotype of a shooter, so how could they miss him climbing up on the roof in the first place? It was like the person you pick for a B movie, yet it was the spectators who spotted the guy, and it still took minutes before anyone responded.

My friends on the right are outraged. While I can’t blame them, we don’t yet know enough about the shooter. We don’t know what motivated him and others who may have pushed him in that direction. This guy had no plan. He was in plain sight and he had to know he would be shot. He apparently didn’t care. Then there is the question of whether or not he was groomed to do it. Did he have a handler who put him up to it? We may never know, given the level of corruption already in our government.

With the Republican convention in Milwaukee this week, and no limits on people attending protest events, it’s going to be a real high-tension event. It could go very badly, and I just hope that people care more about pulling together than our differences. Otherwise, I don’t think this yucky feeling is going away anytime soon.