A Journey At a Cost
The other day, I saw a motorcycle that looked very much like the first motorcycle I ever owned when I turned eighteen. It was a small dirt bike that could hardly go faster than the old 55 MPH national speed limit. One cold morning when I had the bike for two years, I rode it from Oshkosh to the Wisconsin Minnesota border along the Mississippi River. I got there, but I was very cold, and shivering so badly I could barely stand. I otherwise would have kept going. It was like an invisible force pushing me to go on.
As I tried to warm up, I thought about how someday, I would not be stopping and would keep going west, as far as I could drive. It was only the very next summer when I packed up and moved out west, never to move back. I was only 21. I didn’t know anyone or what I’d find out here, but I knew I’d have to come.
Being your own person in life comes at a cost. When we move away, we fall out of touch with friends and family, our environment shapes us to be different, and as time passes, we are molded into something that only partially reflects where we started. I’ve forgotten most of what it was like to live in Oshkosh, Wisconsin.
Over the decades, people have come into and fallen out of my life, never to be seen again. Most of the time, it’s just life’s journey taking us all in different directions, but now and then I’ll reflect back on all the people who are not in my life anymore for no other reason than I didn’t want to take my life in a direction that suited them best. I only recently found out someone was mad and cut me off from their social media for no other reason than I didn’t want to work on their business idea. It flat didn’t interest me! It’s no reason to be mad, but that’s how some people are with social media.
I think of the ex-girlfriends, or even friends who wanted me to do something, or go in a direction with my life that wasn’t for me. Standing my ground, honoring my life’s journey resulted in losing them. We all go through this.
All of this first began in high school, when I was doing the same thing to others, unconscious of it at the time, but by my college years, I grew out of it and began to respect the journey of others. Oh, I’d be mad when someone would get in their own way, but I knew the difference when someone was doing it to me.
Others not doing what I wanted shifted to become nothing more than a passing disappointment while for some, at their choice, it meant the end of our friendship. It came with maturity that my journey was less about others and more about where I wanted to take my life. Sure, somewhere in life I could have compromised where I was going, but somehow, I knew I would miss something big, something important.
It’s not fun losing friends over a decision about where to take my life. I wish I didn’t have to pay such a price at times. It sucks! But, looking back, when I think about what has occurred because I listened to that inner voice that told me which road to take, I’m thankful I listened.