As Good as it Gets

I just watched As Good as It Gets once again. I’ve not watched it in a very long time and I forgot just how well it’s written. When the movie came out in 97, I had no plans to go see it. Friends said I needed to go because there were things in it that reminded them of me. Apparently I can be fairly blunt. I try not to be insulting. But, if you want to know what I think, I have no problem saying it.

There is a scene in the movie where a secretary at his publisher, who is also an adoring fan, comes up to him and asks, “How do you write women so well?” Jack Nicholson’s character, Melvin Udall, looks at her and says, “I think of a man and take away reason and accountability.” The entire theater erupted in laughter and applause. It hit a major nerve with the audience, and I was thinking that movie couldn’t get made today. Someone will be offended, and that’s enough.

The movie was jammed with blunt, direct and often biting dialog, and not just from one character. A simple line, “You make me want to be a better man” meant the world to so many men who saw the movie and thought that very thing about the one they love.

Still, there was enough in it to offend everyone. I thought, wow we’ve become thin-skinned. At the time, this was one of the highest grossing films to come out, and it, along with Titanic, drew the largest TV audience for the Academy Awards on record. Compare that to what’s now the lowest.

In a way, it’s refreshing when people say what’s really up. I think that’s what society wants and the audience numbers prove out. What made the movie stand out, wasn’t the story, it was the dialog. It was the relationships. It was about character and decency, and saying and doing the right thing, and becoming accountable. Melvin knows who he is, and what he needs to fix in himself. He didn’t blame anyone.

I get tired of people who think one thing while saying another. People who stand for nothing and think situational ethics solves everything. It doesn’t. Lots of people out there will just say anything to manipulate. I see it in how some run companies. The problem is, you can’t change character. I want my employees to help me become a better leader.

I stay away from people who hide everything, the ones who compartmentalize their life in order to mislead, control and manipulate, but there seem to be more and more of that going around. I miss blunt, direct conversations where people say what they think and are not afraid to be who they are, warts and all. It’s refreshing when it happens, and even when the criticism is aimed at me, if I’m paying attention it makes me a better human sometimes. It depends on the motives in saying it.

I wish there were more movies like As Good as it Gets, but I think it’s not what the studios think is important. They would rather virtue signal to no audience. Meanwhile, it’s no surprise that great shows like Ted Lasso are such a huge hit. I think an audience is hungry for movies about great character in a world where there seems to be less of it. I think most humans want to be better.