You’re not Qualified
Before I sold my last company, I was occasionally asked for business advice, but rarely from people I didn’t already know. It wasn’t until we sold Open Interface North America to Qualcomm when people began to come up to me and ask how I did it, how did I achieve success? I didn’t know what to say. For one, I wasn't entirely sure I was a success. The truth is, I didn’t have a clear answer because success was never that black and white to me nor, was I done living my life and failure was still a possibility. The easy response was luck, hard work, timing, or a little of each. I didn’t know what to say because I just do what I do without thinking about "success" as an end goal. Success was always a byproduct in the pursuit of what I loved.
In a way it was like someone asking me how I got to the top of the stairs when I don't think I'm at the top yet. The answer is, I put one foot down on the next step, lifted myself up, put my foot down again and so on. I don't think about it, I just go up or down the stairs in the pursuit of something that I think is important.
I spent months trying to come up with a better way of explaining it; something that didn't sound like a cliché. I listed all the usual things, I thought about my long work hours, the advice from others, the people I met who helped me, etc., all the usual stuff. The more I thought about it, the more I kept coming back to all the times I felt like I was failing more than succeeding and the constant setbacks; stuff that until the question came up, I was trying to forget. I was remembering the years of living a very meager existence and not feeling successful at all. Years ago a friend and I spotted a refrigerator box outside BestBuy and I joked, that might be my next house. The truth was, I was doing it without any safety net, so the joke wasn't far from the possibility, and failing had major consequences. That risk was a powerful motivator.
Someone asked me about what looks like a random bio and as I was telling the story, I realized that there was a consistent theme that when looking at the chapters in total and how they all connected, it gave me some clues. I’d never tried to identify my recipe at a granular level and what got me successful until that moment. I was retracing my memory of all those times people would tell me I wasn’t the right person to do something and yet I didn’t let them define or stop me from pursuing what I knew I could accomplish on behalf of those who granted me the opportunity.
Success largely comes from the opportunities that others give us and my success advanced every time someone thought the opposite of someone who didn't think I was the right guy; that I was qualified to do something, even if ten others thought I couldn't do it. A big component in achieving my goals was finding people who’d be willing to bet on something I was doing while ignoring the others who bet against me.
The reality about becoming successful is there is always going to be someone who’s going to put you down, always ready with some criticism about the way you do things; in part because you didn’t go to the right school, to not having the right experience, or not looking the part, or that you weren’t outgoing enough or whatever they believed about what it took to be successful. I was already my biggest critic and I didn't need any help on that front.
When I was raising money, VCs were especially judgmental and surprisingly wrong most of the time. You just go on to the next one. My success in part came from ignoring people who were supposed to be experts yet didn’t have a clue who I was, and had no license to define me, unless I let them. People have a tendency to project based on their own issues, good and bad. The trick is to know when someone is critical with your best interest in mind, and even then they can still be, and frequently are, wrong.
There is a reason successful people don’t put up motivation quotes on social media. It’s not how they think. They are just driving ahead with their work, focused on results, and success becomes the mere byproduct of their pursuits. Once they complete one objective, it's on to the next.
It’s not a true statement that anyone can do anything in life and succeed. It sounds good but it's usually empty. Shows like American Idol highlighted a lot of early contestants who just can’t sing. In that case it’s qualified people pointing out a contestant’s limitations and a reality check. Yet, that doesn’t stop these same contestants from becoming a huge success doing something else in life or creating a singing style that somehow works. Remember American Idol's William Hung? He became famous for singing very badly.
If I had to boil it all down to just a few characteristics that made all the difference in my success, it was to first rapidly identify and ignore those who have a vested interest in my failure. This included people who believed their path was the only one to success. Anyone who gave off an air of superiority was suspect. Second to that was I had to remain persistent regardless of how discouraged I was at the time. You can’t let yourself get depressed or let setback get in your way. Someone said that success comes from getting up every time you’re knocked down. That sounds good, but what does that mean? What exactly is getting up?
For me, as a personal habit, I don't dwell on setback, I find something positive to do, never negative. I’ll immediately do something like straighten the garage, work on my business concept, do some project around the house, go for a long walk; anything that will have a positive outcome, not for anyone else, but so I can get refocused on what I was doing, correct my mistakes and take another step. I never have a second where I feel sorry for myself about anything. That feeds doubt and constant doubt is like a vitamin for failure. Setbacks are a part of life, and a part of taking risks. It’s simply a given, and it’s not unique to anyone to have bad days. Get over it and just keep working.
I tend to be an optimist and therefore I believe in a positive outcome, even if the odds are against me. Someone once called me whimsical in my approach to problem solving. It bugged me a little because I think I’m more of a pragmatist, stubborn even. Whimsical stemmed from asking, why not?
There are lots of people far more qualified than me who can more accurately define what it takes to be successful at anything. I didn’t have "success" in mind and in large part, that's my secret. I had my objectives front and center. Again, success simply labeled the outcome of my persistence. I love the process that resulted in success, even when it kicks me in the ass. Sometimes that’s the fun, and occasionally it's not, but you get through it.
To acquire Open Interface, I was still working as a Trustee at the same time as I stopped taking new cases, but the existing cases still had long tails however I couldn't pass up acquiring a company I admired. I didn’t draw a dime in salary from OI for two full years because I was worried about our cash flow. Few people knew I was working so much. Yet, it never bothered me because I was so engrossed in our work. Somehow the shift from one job to the other energized me. I was so engaged in what I was doing that I didn’t notice anything else around me. Through it all, I was completely unwilling to let anyone else define me. I had other issues that required my attention and their criticism wasn't relevant to my success, unless I'd let it become just that.
Keep in mind, that people tend to see what they want to see. Sometimes they see you as a failure because it’s what they need to compensate for their own issues. Seeing you as a success might invalidate some part of them, or so they think, so you can't let it get to you. We all know that one individual surrounded by sycophants who’s very modus operandi is to always marginalize those whom they disagree with. It’s their way of justifying their position. It’s their issue and thus, don’t buy into it. Ignore them.
Success doesn’t have a direct route or an exact recipe to get there. I don’t claim to know the winning formula either. My success came from the simple pursuit of something important to me, and I don’t worry about pleasing everyone, or getting the world to like me in the process.
People write thousands of books about how to become a success and I have no plans to write one. I’ve read very few and I’m still not sure I have good answers, other than what worked for me. My advice is kind of simplistic, but hard as I try, I can't describe it any other way. It's come down to just these few things:
Listen to those who are cheering you on and seek out advice as needed from those who take an interest in your success.
Remain focused on the pursuit of your passions.
Push through the sleepless nights and moments of self doubt.
When you fail, learn from your mistake and get back up and try again.
Ignore those who want you to fail.
Most of all, don't let others define you.